just a word from me

love begins with a smile , growth with a kiss and ends with a teardrop.maybe Allah wants me to meet a few wrong people before i meet the right one. so that when i finaly meet that guy, i know how to be grateful. i am nothing special of this i am sure. i am just a common girl with common thoughts. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten.but i've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me that has always been enough. i get the best feeling in the world when u say hi then smile at me bcse i know even if its just for a second,that i've crossed your mind.after i lost him. i've noticed that being with u, i smile more often, i anger a little less quickly. but all this are meaningles because u are not a single guy. u have ur gf. but u keep it from me just because u wanna be frend with me. dont u think that was so cruel. u treat me so nice so kind.u are there when my mind always keep in thinking bout my past time.u cheer my life with all ur jokes and your style.but the facts is u got a gf. u told me when feel are there. and u begged me to forgive u and accept u as ur best frend. what the?? but to be honest.i do like u as my frend.people might say that he's not ur type and you are not the good one that Allah destined for me. maybe.but aku pun tak baik..i was finally getting over you and actually believing i didn't need you. i was finally accepting that u had ur gf. just go and may Allah bless you dunia akhirat.. we are friend forever.. :)

my mr hockey

for the first time i went to stadium hoki.. funny right. since meet him he taught me a lot bout 'hockey'.. yaaa which is i dont even want to know. but its okay. just lend ur ears and listen on what he said bout his sport life. he is a sportmen. he played hockey. he's too active with all the programs. errr. good but bored. haha. for me he's cute and smart student. bijak belajar actif programs. the most good thing is org kuat JTMK. arghhh . when we  bumped with his juniour mesti macam ni..' eyh abg ies abg ies'.. ouhh okay. i gave u a smile. :D big smile..

22.2.13

first meet with you, first call from you, first text with you. and alhamdulillah am happy be friend with you. next day. was the first date. we went to aeon station 18, ipoh. he bought a food for his 'sugar glinder'. so sweet right. at night we went to ict ipoh. thank you for everything :)

weekend

assalamualaikum and hello. i had spent my weekend with him. he just a friend of me. but i really enjoyed my time with him. thank you for coming. next time please just come by train or bus okay. jangan berlagak meh. travel from kl to ipoh yeahh tak jauh. tapi penat jugak. one of my classmate always proud with her fiance. "her mr pilot".. the problem is he is not a pilot!! huh! so now can i mentioned that adrian is my mr engineer?? haha. too show off i think. thank again for the fresh flower babe. ok good , aku dah mula jatuh cinta dengan bunga. thank for helping me in many ways. " can i meet ur parent"?? ouhh no!! the problem with him is this. i understand. factor of age. no worries. in sha Allah. if we are meant, there's nothing to worry about.

proposed

im just 21.  dont have to think much bout 'life partner'. i just need to move on and focus on my study first. but  he proposed me so damn sudden. i just like hah??? Ya Allah. i do like you mr adrian. u are almost perfect to me. thanx a lot for the sweet ring and big fresh bouquet of flower. i never get a flower before. u are soo sweet adrian :) hehe. u made it. thanx. u had my heart. but this is not the right time yet. to be someome special and having a special friend is not easy for me. i dont want any term of ' frust' anymore. anyway... thank again dear !

if not, please don't

if you're not the next, please don't start that feel.i don't want to have any feeling yet. never cross on my mind this thing would happend.sometime i smile. how can i manage my life when i was there alone?? end up i managed it well. Alhamdulillah. so what is the big point here ?? nothing right. just start to be friend with 'him'.. but he is  a smart student. how i wish u could be mine?? smart and active. that is what i need. hopefuly. but i think this crazy thing won't work. he is bf to someone else. my focus is study and study. further on higher level. that is my aim. Amin..so please mr E. maybe tonight is our last meet. if we meet unintentionally im fine.i'll act normal. but to plan to meet up, maybe not. as u also don't have any intention. my bad because i did asked u for it. tonight i got it. i dont want to be a ' punca ' like u said just now. before i keep this crazy feeling on you, better i stop it here.. but i really need what i need from u. u know what i meant. help me in my studies. thank you for it :)

new life begin

salam and hello :)  a month passed. i left kota damansara after 6month i was and worked there..oh my suffering. my class for semester5 will begin today. for sure the module plus plus more challenging than previous semester. final paper for this semester is 4. which is auditing, taxation, financial accounting and managerial accounting.  wish me luck and hopefully i can do my very best for it. i very grateful to Allah s.w.t. because i never fail for any of my module. alhamdulillah and insyaAllah i'll keep that and i'll maintain my pointer. amin....

paling jahanam

assalamualaikum..

have to use word yang memang biadap. sebab the only word that suit to describe him is JAHANAM.. so damn happy with his life.  maybe they think that im gonna cry out every time and still think bout that guy?? omg pegi jahanam. swear to Allh s.w.t yang aku tak kan maafkan engkau. yeah i know. sape lah aku to forgive and forget. tapi aku manusia biasa. swear to Allah s.w.t, sikit pun aku tak ingat pasal kau.  Just tadi my friend mentioned bout that **** guy. so have to la kan.

11 weeks left

alhamdulillah.dalam tak sedar.dah 11 minggu aku kat kota damansara tercinta:)11weeks left to finish my task.omg.cant wait for it.rinduu nya dekat kampus saya.walaupun kampus tu tak la cantik sangat.rindu nak pergi kelas time pukul8 tu.arghh.masing2 muka mengantuk.rindu rindu!

gentleman

salam and hello.you're not gentleman at all.now.i say that i'll never forgive you after what u did to me.yes.because im just an ordinary person.my past post and my words before was so fucking untrue.i was to soft with them.i shouldn't reply any of his gf email.tula kebodohan aku setakat ini.but not be any problem to me because tak betul pun apa yang aku cakap kat dia.i respect her as org yang lebih tua dari aku.that's all.she asked me to forgive her and him?si kekasih perempuan,awak tiada salah dengan saya.si kekasih lelaki.engkau lah ketua kesalahan.engkau kena tengok putaran hidup ini.tak lama pun.im not pray for any bad thing happend.becuase tak termakbul mendoakan keburukan.cuma yang mampu i pray for is keadilan.itu pasti.i took a month plus to cure.but now im happy with my life.what i hope for now.Ya Allah.tolong jangan pertemukan sekali pun aku dengan dia.amin.bukan sebab takut sedih.no way.im just worry if i cant control my emotion and go to him and ask back for all the thing that i did and gave to him.sebab aku manusia biasa.hati tak cukup bersih dan mulia.tapi aku dalam proses ke arah lebih baik dan kehidupan aku jauh lebih baik lepas kau blah..thank you..

big flower for me

thank you for whom it may concern.for the big big flower.u may not yet be the one to replace him.but i really wish that the person is you.as he happy with his'wife'.. i should go the same way right?u're right.he's not deserve my tears.but no worries.he's not in my mind at all.i can laugh sincerely now.no fake anymore.i was so fucking stupid last time.thank you my dear friends there.omg.iloveyou all so much.really miss all of you.lega nyaa dapat bersembang dengan kaurang semua tadi.tq :) lots of love >3

kelegaan

amin ya rabbal 'alamin..syukur.alhamdulillah.
hati lebih tenang.lebih bahagia.jauh dari kesulitan hati dan perasaan..
berkat doa mak abah.kawan kawan.dan restu dari yang kuasa Allah s.w.t.
berkat kesabaran hadapi semua dugaan Allah dengan tabah dan yakin akan hikmah disebaliknya..
cant wait to finish my task here.to meet my lovely friends there at ipoh.to stay with mak abah again
cant wait to know what in the future.mudah mudahan baik semua.amin...

in trouble.Ya Allah.

i cried.bila aku terpaksa limit kan penggunaan duit aku.never face this situation.i face this when mak abah not around.last time.i can say what i want and will get it.this week i think i want to fasting.instead of tak makan.better i fasting.insyaAllah.pahala dapat.Ya Allah.this is my first time stay apart from my family.mak abah.so i got that experience.trouble.short in money.mak abah yes they can support me.but i dont want it.too much more thing they have to think and support.especially for my youngest brother.he just started his new life.study at UNIKL used a lot of money.at the beginning it was ok maybe.so i fix it on this way.i just take my meal on lunch only.breakfrst i just ate roti 50cent with mineral water.and lunch i take rice with soup is about rm6.enough.plus.i can get back my old weight.my aim.to lose my weight. kurus kembali!hati tak senang kan makan tak berapa nak lalu.plus dengan hidup susah when i stay far from my family.my allowance only for my house rent.i made promise with mak abah.i wont ask them for house rent.even if i dont eat.as long as i can survive.i'll.insyaAllah.now.aku tgh sakit kepala.Ya Allah.aku memang mudah sgt sakit kepala.dan bila sakit kepala aku serang,bukan mudah nak hilang.telan la panadol brpa bijik pun.payah nak hilang.Ya Allah.sembuhkan lah penyakit sakit kepala ku ini Ya Allah.sakit kepala aku bukan sakit sikit2.sakit tahap nak menangis pengsan.

hope-Allah permudahkan segala urusan aku sepanjang aku praktikal kat sini..Amin-

wanna scream

dear Allah.i dont want to work there anymore.i dont want to go back to kota damansara anymore.i hate being there so much.too much shits memories there.i want to stay here with my family and my friends.3months for me to finish up my praktikal.dear Allah.insyaAllah.every week aku akan balik ipoh.being there just for my praktikal.ya Allah..aku tak nak balik sana.i miss my past life.without 'him' in my life.i miss go to class every morning at 8a.m.sometimes i feel so lazy then i'll call my lecturer n said that miss am not feeling well.so happy.maybe im not really into what people call'work experience work life'..i know its so heaven.by having gain your own money.for this time being,maybe im not yet.if you're happy with ur work everthing will fine.but not me.so fucking shit.can u blah from my life.i want to do the same thing like what you do laa.damn!why why why!!!!seriesly.i need new enviroment please.took pictures together with a sweet smiles auwww so sweet right.can smile can happy.like a phrase 'kebahagian mu di atas penderitaanku'.aku percaya pada keadilan Allah S.W.T wahai manusia.engkau buat hidup aku macam dalam separuh gila.kosong.hancur lebur bagai apa lagi dah tak tau dah.its look like how stupid you're farah!but what can i do.berserah berdoa.InsyaAllah.

i should not

the mosy stupid thing i did is gave her chance to explain and appologize?damn.my friends please do not blame me.you know me well.she started in polite way  why must i be rude?im not that rude right.i know.what they did to me is really bad.but to me.let Allah pay them.is not my right to pay them.i know.when people like me with full of sin talk about religion its look awkward.but people changed.i really want the new life.seriesly,after all this things happend,my heart open wisely.full of support.i was studpid also.i should not reply even one of her mail.but i cant.i want her to know betapa seksa sakitnya aku.but i can't be harsh.not my way.but if i speak with her thru phone yes.i dont think i cant control my emotion.nasib baik dia pun tak setuju.alhamdulillah.but kelemahan aku adalah,when people came and ask for appologize i cant say blah lah kau.siapa aku ni?manusia hina je.eventhough she did wrong,i still and will be ok if she talk with me in a good way.i dont say that i believe in karma.i said.what u do u'll get back.baik dibalas baik.jahat di balas jahat.she's got strong point when she said they cant avoid when its come to feeling.yes you're very right my dear.but how bout my feeling?just throw away into the dustbin.that is what both of u did.am sorry.maybe u will say that my action speak loud than my words.you're right.reverse phsycology or whatsoever.just try get in my shoes.sorry and sorry and sorry